McDonalds - McCafe sucks

I have never seen a company try so hard to come up with a catch phrase and fail so miserably at it.

The ba ba ba baaa I'm loving it is tolerable, annoying but I can handle it.

Nugnuts was just plain dumb. And thankfully died a quick, painful death.

And now having commercials that list every possible rhyme for McCafe is simply obnoxious. Possiblay. Not only does it sound Canadian, eh, but it easily sets up the middle school response to anything they don't like (a usage of the term I extremely hate so will leave it to your imaginations to think of what I mean here).

The ad spots with the people looking all hippy-ish until they discover McDonald's coffee so they no longer need to hang around the elitist coffee shops, can shave and ditch their trendy glasses were amusing.

Poking fun at society = good.
Slogan hunting = bad.

Want to sell more coffee? Make a better product. Simple.

Frito Lay - Smiles campaign sucks

Recently, I've heard a number of Frito Lay commercials that has some narrator speaking in some down home, comforting voice. The tag line is something about "promoting smiles."

Potato chips are not that deep.

Unless you've got the munchies. But then everything is deep.

I honestly don't understand why they're trying to make chips into a moving, emotional experience. I suppose, since part of the commercial is talking about how it's tough times right now, and if I was struggling to get by, a bag of chips would be nice little comfort. But seriously, if I was struggling that much, chips would be the last thing I should be spending my money on. I could maybe put it towards a bill so I don't get my electricity canceled or put gas in my car so I can get to work. And if I was actually in starvation mode, chips would be even worse because all the salt and grease is going to make me dehydrated and I'm going to die even sooner. Smile about that, Frito Lay.

The down home thing works for a number of things. Home cookin', maybe board games. Not snack foods.

Lindsay Lohan Sucks

I'm very disappointed with Miss Lohan. There was a time she was super hot. Very pretty, awesome bod, not a bad actress. Of course, she wasn't of legal age at the time.

Think Mean Girls. That was some classic Lindsay. I could have dumped my wife for her at that time and the wife would have been ok with that. In fact, she would have encouraged it.

Think Lindsay today, of legal age. When I do, I cry at what could have been. Drugs, booze, whatever other gossip you could want. And how does she come out looking? Worse than Nicole Ritchie and Posh Spice. She's so tiny and it's nasty.

Britney Spears went through the same ordeal, and kids!, and still looks great. What's so difficult here? Eat and extra pizza!

Please, Lindsay, bring back the hot girl that was, the one we all dreamed about. You can keep doing what you do in your Hollywood circles with your addictions, but don't let it interfere with being hot. Please!

Gavin Rossdale sucks

With lyrics like "city buzz sounds just like a fridge," why would I need to explain any further? he compares the sound of a city to the sound of the appliance that contains all my rotting food. I guess that's not so far off. But definitely not romantic in any sense.

I did not understand why this song became popular. Just look at the lyrics. Not only does he work in "fridge" but he talks about "gravity like a lunar landing." I could have sworn there's not much gravity on the moon (the lunar reference). Evidently the attraction he feels for this woman is very shallow.

His "singing" is awful, too. I mean, his voice is not built for this pathetic attempt at a ballad. He's too angry sounding. It sounds like he hates loving her.

So to sum up:
1. Awesome imagery that a city full of condos and apartments is buzzing just like the fridges that all those condos and apartments contain. The revelation is shocking.
2. He's not really attracted to the girl. The slightest push and he's flying away.
3. Angry voice. This is what happens when you gargle broken glass.