As much as I have always ignored Perez's usual asshattery, this will.i.am thing is seriously ridiculous. How can somebody who supposedly crusades against bigotry use the very thing he hates to antagonize another person?
I recently admitted that I found a little more respect for one of the Duff girls (I don't know which one since I can't tell them apart) for "Don't use gay that way" commercials. One of my most hated things is people saying "that's gay." Absolutely hate it. And here goes Perez, a man who had a hissy fit over that Miss California thing, using a gay slur as an insult, admitting it publicly, and is upset that the gay community doesn't like his actions?
Seriously stupid.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Mattress Giant - Talking mattress sucks
One of the biggest signs that your ad department/agency is a little low on the creative side is that their big idea is to turn your product into a talking item. For mattress giant, this results in a giant mattress answering "customer letters."
Not only human mattress a bad idea, so is the customer letters. It's one of the more common ideas used and they're just poorly written. "Who is the woman doing the 'ooh ahh' noises at the end and can I date her?" First, the ooh ahh sound used in the commercial is one of the most unsexy sounding ooh ahhs I've ever heard so this guy hypothetical customer is really desperate (good form making your customers look desperate). I imagine it's some old lady stepping on a nail. Second, making the ooh ahh lady the mattress' mom is stupid. Why would a giant mattress have a mom? Where are the mattress naughty bits? How can you tell a male mattress from a female mattress? I'd actually assume all mattressi are female due to the "ess" (see seamstress, mistress, princess). That makes the mattress answering the questions a freak of nature (not that a talking mattress alone isn't a freak of nature).
What is the deal with making normally non-talking things talk in ads? Like the Antionio Banderas bee for whatever allergy med. That's the sort of commercial you save for Saturday morning cartoons. I don't think a child is going to be making the decision as to which mattress or medication to purchase. If that child is, shoot the parents please.
You should be appealing to your adult audience. Sexy ladies, barely wearing any clothes hinting that if you buy this mattress you'll have lots of sex. Much better campaign. Go now!
Not only human mattress a bad idea, so is the customer letters. It's one of the more common ideas used and they're just poorly written. "Who is the woman doing the 'ooh ahh' noises at the end and can I date her?" First, the ooh ahh sound used in the commercial is one of the most unsexy sounding ooh ahhs I've ever heard so this guy hypothetical customer is really desperate (good form making your customers look desperate). I imagine it's some old lady stepping on a nail. Second, making the ooh ahh lady the mattress' mom is stupid. Why would a giant mattress have a mom? Where are the mattress naughty bits? How can you tell a male mattress from a female mattress? I'd actually assume all mattressi are female due to the "ess" (see seamstress, mistress, princess). That makes the mattress answering the questions a freak of nature (not that a talking mattress alone isn't a freak of nature).
What is the deal with making normally non-talking things talk in ads? Like the Antionio Banderas bee for whatever allergy med. That's the sort of commercial you save for Saturday morning cartoons. I don't think a child is going to be making the decision as to which mattress or medication to purchase. If that child is, shoot the parents please.
You should be appealing to your adult audience. Sexy ladies, barely wearing any clothes hinting that if you buy this mattress you'll have lots of sex. Much better campaign. Go now!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Radio Stations, in general suck
Radio stations enjoy promotion how much music they play compared to other stations. 12 in a row. An hour...commercial free! Stuff like that.
But the thing is, they interrupt their twelve in a row or commercial free hour to tell you that they're going twelve in a row. It's no longer twelve in a row! Or if station decides to say "This is an hour of commercial free music as SUCKS101.3," it's no longer commercial free. You just ran an ad for your own station.
It's the "less talk" ads that really bother me. Because to tell you they're less talk, they must talk and talk repeatedly. Just seems a bit counterproductive to the message they're trying to send.
Maybe if they actually did any of these things they wouldn't have to try to pound it into our heads. Try showing, not telling.
But the thing is, they interrupt their twelve in a row or commercial free hour to tell you that they're going twelve in a row. It's no longer twelve in a row! Or if station decides to say "This is an hour of commercial free music as SUCKS101.3," it's no longer commercial free. You just ran an ad for your own station.
It's the "less talk" ads that really bother me. Because to tell you they're less talk, they must talk and talk repeatedly. Just seems a bit counterproductive to the message they're trying to send.
Maybe if they actually did any of these things they wouldn't have to try to pound it into our heads. Try showing, not telling.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
McDonalds - McCafe sucks
I have never seen a company try so hard to come up with a catch phrase and fail so miserably at it.
The ba ba ba baaa I'm loving it is tolerable, annoying but I can handle it.
Nugnuts was just plain dumb. And thankfully died a quick, painful death.
And now having commercials that list every possible rhyme for McCafe is simply obnoxious. Possiblay. Not only does it sound Canadian, eh, but it easily sets up the middle school response to anything they don't like (a usage of the term I extremely hate so will leave it to your imaginations to think of what I mean here).
The ad spots with the people looking all hippy-ish until they discover McDonald's coffee so they no longer need to hang around the elitist coffee shops, can shave and ditch their trendy glasses were amusing.
Poking fun at society = good.
Slogan hunting = bad.
Want to sell more coffee? Make a better product. Simple.
The ba ba ba baaa I'm loving it is tolerable, annoying but I can handle it.
Nugnuts was just plain dumb. And thankfully died a quick, painful death.
And now having commercials that list every possible rhyme for McCafe is simply obnoxious. Possiblay. Not only does it sound Canadian, eh, but it easily sets up the middle school response to anything they don't like (a usage of the term I extremely hate so will leave it to your imaginations to think of what I mean here).
The ad spots with the people looking all hippy-ish until they discover McDonald's coffee so they no longer need to hang around the elitist coffee shops, can shave and ditch their trendy glasses were amusing.
Poking fun at society = good.
Slogan hunting = bad.
Want to sell more coffee? Make a better product. Simple.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Frito Lay - Smiles campaign sucks
Recently, I've heard a number of Frito Lay commercials that has some narrator speaking in some down home, comforting voice. The tag line is something about "promoting smiles."
Potato chips are not that deep.
Unless you've got the munchies. But then everything is deep.
I honestly don't understand why they're trying to make chips into a moving, emotional experience. I suppose, since part of the commercial is talking about how it's tough times right now, and if I was struggling to get by, a bag of chips would be nice little comfort. But seriously, if I was struggling that much, chips would be the last thing I should be spending my money on. I could maybe put it towards a bill so I don't get my electricity canceled or put gas in my car so I can get to work. And if I was actually in starvation mode, chips would be even worse because all the salt and grease is going to make me dehydrated and I'm going to die even sooner. Smile about that, Frito Lay.
The down home thing works for a number of things. Home cookin', maybe board games. Not snack foods.
Potato chips are not that deep.
Unless you've got the munchies. But then everything is deep.
I honestly don't understand why they're trying to make chips into a moving, emotional experience. I suppose, since part of the commercial is talking about how it's tough times right now, and if I was struggling to get by, a bag of chips would be nice little comfort. But seriously, if I was struggling that much, chips would be the last thing I should be spending my money on. I could maybe put it towards a bill so I don't get my electricity canceled or put gas in my car so I can get to work. And if I was actually in starvation mode, chips would be even worse because all the salt and grease is going to make me dehydrated and I'm going to die even sooner. Smile about that, Frito Lay.
The down home thing works for a number of things. Home cookin', maybe board games. Not snack foods.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Lindsay Lohan Sucks
I'm very disappointed with Miss Lohan. There was a time she was super hot. Very pretty, awesome bod, not a bad actress. Of course, she wasn't of legal age at the time.
Think Mean Girls. That was some classic Lindsay. I could have dumped my wife for her at that time and the wife would have been ok with that. In fact, she would have encouraged it.
Think Lindsay today, of legal age. When I do, I cry at what could have been. Drugs, booze, whatever other gossip you could want. And how does she come out looking? Worse than Nicole Ritchie and Posh Spice. She's so tiny and it's nasty.
Britney Spears went through the same ordeal, and kids!, and still looks great. What's so difficult here? Eat and extra pizza!
Please, Lindsay, bring back the hot girl that was, the one we all dreamed about. You can keep doing what you do in your Hollywood circles with your addictions, but don't let it interfere with being hot. Please!
Think Mean Girls. That was some classic Lindsay. I could have dumped my wife for her at that time and the wife would have been ok with that. In fact, she would have encouraged it.
Think Lindsay today, of legal age. When I do, I cry at what could have been. Drugs, booze, whatever other gossip you could want. And how does she come out looking? Worse than Nicole Ritchie and Posh Spice. She's so tiny and it's nasty.
Britney Spears went through the same ordeal, and kids!, and still looks great. What's so difficult here? Eat and extra pizza!
Please, Lindsay, bring back the hot girl that was, the one we all dreamed about. You can keep doing what you do in your Hollywood circles with your addictions, but don't let it interfere with being hot. Please!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Gavin Rossdale sucks
With lyrics like "city buzz sounds just like a fridge," why would I need to explain any further? he compares the sound of a city to the sound of the appliance that contains all my rotting food. I guess that's not so far off. But definitely not romantic in any sense.
I did not understand why this song became popular. Just look at the lyrics. Not only does he work in "fridge" but he talks about "gravity like a lunar landing." I could have sworn there's not much gravity on the moon (the lunar reference). Evidently the attraction he feels for this woman is very shallow.
His "singing" is awful, too. I mean, his voice is not built for this pathetic attempt at a ballad. He's too angry sounding. It sounds like he hates loving her.
So to sum up:
1. Awesome imagery that a city full of condos and apartments is buzzing just like the fridges that all those condos and apartments contain. The revelation is shocking.
2. He's not really attracted to the girl. The slightest push and he's flying away.
3. Angry voice. This is what happens when you gargle broken glass.
I did not understand why this song became popular. Just look at the lyrics. Not only does he work in "fridge" but he talks about "gravity like a lunar landing." I could have sworn there's not much gravity on the moon (the lunar reference). Evidently the attraction he feels for this woman is very shallow.
His "singing" is awful, too. I mean, his voice is not built for this pathetic attempt at a ballad. He's too angry sounding. It sounds like he hates loving her.
So to sum up:
1. Awesome imagery that a city full of condos and apartments is buzzing just like the fridges that all those condos and apartments contain. The revelation is shocking.
2. He's not really attracted to the girl. The slightest push and he's flying away.
3. Angry voice. This is what happens when you gargle broken glass.
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